The Foundational Laws of Marriage: Priority and Pursuit
"A couples marriage should be their top priority (next to God) and a work of art they are constantly perfecting"
Genesis 2:4-25
The God who created us also created marriage for our good and established laws for marriage. If we keep these laws, we have a 100 percent chance of success in marriage; if we break them, we greatly jeopardize our relationship.
The first law of marriage is called the law of priority: God created marriage to be the number one priority in our lives (with the exception of our relationship with Jesus Christ). All other parts of our lives, such as children, church, extended family, friends, work, and hobbies, are secondary. Therefore, a married couple must make each other a priority and must show it in real terms, not just in words. Their are four ways to do this. Sacrifice-be willing to give up things for your spouse. Time-spend significant amounts of time with your spouse. Energy-aggressively seek to be there for your spouse emotionally and physically. Attitude-be positive and affirming, showing interest in your spouse's wants and needs.
Once you've established your marriage as your priority, you can keep it there through disciplines and traditions that are appropriate for the two of you.
The second law of marriage is called the law of pursuit. To have a good marriage, we must pursue our spouse every day of our lives. In other words, we have to work at our marriage.
This universal law is violated most often because of two simple reasons. The first is simply a result of human nature: we tend to work at a relationship until we feel secure in it, and then we get lazy.
A second problem is that we have misconceptions about love and romance. One common misconception is, if I marry the right person, the emotions will happen effortlessly for the rest of my life. A second misconception is, if my emotions toward my spouse have changed, I must have married the wrong person. A third misconception is, positive events and experiences should fuel the relationship and our emotions longer term.
The truth is, we have to work at our marriage every day. Good marriages don't just happen automatically-they are the by product of long-term, consistent effort.
By following the laws of priority and pursuit, you can make your marriage better year after year.
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